Leading Edge: A Millennial’s Approach to Advice
A Millennial’s Approach to Advice
Have you ever heard anything like, “you should do…” “Let me tell you…” “If you want my advice I would…” “In my opinion…” “You can’t do…”
As a millennial, it can feel like you are getting unsolicited advice at every turn, especially if you are a mom with two kids in a grocery store or a solo entrepreneur! It’s overwhelming to feel like no matter what you do, you can’t do anything right, isn’t it? I find it’s depressing and it can shut me down to the point where I don’t want to listen to anyone anymore.
Since joining the John Maxwell Team two years ago, I have had the opportunity to be coached in the Maxwell Method of Coaching. There, you can bring your ideas to the table without being judged, feel safe to express fear, and be encouraged to follow through on your ideas.
Shifting My Mindset
One of the things I have learned since being in this environment is a healthier way to process advice. I want to share three areas where I have been shifting my mindset:
- My “inexperience” doesn’t mean that I have less value to offer than someone with more life experience. In fact, inexperience can be your greatest asset in problem solving because you are not bound by thinking in the box of what you have done in the past. I have observed that experience alone is almost worthless. Experience gains value only when we choose to use it to develop our character in a positive way. The value of my contribution comes, not from my experiences, but from who I have become because of them.
- Failing doesn’t mean that I need to be fixed. There is nothing wrong with me when I mess up; it just means that I haven’t found the right solution yet. Failure is not my identity. I just took a wrong turn and need to find another way to get to my destination. This realization has helped me to become more confident in taking that unknown next step and to be more gentle with myself when I do mess up. It has also helped me to be better at supporting others when they mess up.
- I don’t need to listen to everyone’s advice. All of us are fully resourced to solve our own challenges. You wouldn’t be given the problem if you couldn’t solve it. Often, it is your gut (intuition) that will give you the solution to the challenge you are facing. Listening to my intuition has, more often than not, guided me to make choices that have served me well. For example, joining the John Maxwell Team was one of the best choices I made. It was a choice made from intuition, not reason.
What To Look For In Advice From Others
That being said, advice can be extremely helpful. There is a lot of good advice out there that can prevent us from making mistakes we don’t need to make. This has been my toughest one to navigate as I like to be independent! So I’m learning to seek advice, but set up some filters for it. Here are three questions I ask when getting advice from others:
- Did they ask if I wanted advice?
- Do they have success in the specific area where I need help?
- Will they support me if I choose not to follow their advice?
If I can answer yes to these questions, then they are worth listening to!
Being in this coaching environment has been the most empowering experience I have ever had. If I had not joined the John Maxwell Team, I would still be a frustrated millennial who felt like I couldn’t make any right choices! Coaching, true coaching where you learn, as our mentor Christian Simpson says, “how to think rather than what to think”, is the best gift you can receive.
Those who are serious about achieving greater success in any area of their lives understand the value of being in an empowering, non-judging environment where your best thinking gets even better. Don’t let your potential go to the wind. Own it, develop it, and live the life you have always imagined.
Bio:
Addie has long been fascinated with human behavior and is insatiably curious about what makes people “tick”. Growing up in a strict religious cult, she was unable to let that curiosity grow. It was not until she became an adult that she was able to find emotional freedom from her past. Her passion is to see her millennial peers flourish in their relationships with themselves and others, in their workplaces and as entrepreneurs. She believes that coaching is skill that she can offer to others to help them achieve success in every area of life. She lives on Vancouver Island, Canada with her husband and two children, where she loves to be outdoors exploring with her family.