Welcome to the Dark Side
Being a leader can be extremely challenging at times. I’ve heard stories of and have witnessed several occasions where leaders were disrespected, pushed around, beat down, and even ‘kicked to the curb’ by the very people they were attempting to lead.
I know of one leader who arrived at work one morning to discover that all of the locks had been changed and no one had given him the keys! That was the not-so-subtle way of telling him that he was fired.
Maybe you’ve heard someone say something like, “leadership would be great if it wasn’t for the people.” Of course, we all know that if there were no people to lead, many of us would not have a job! When a person experiences what I call, ‘the dark side’ of leading people, there is a real danger of that person being pulled into and left in the dark side themselves. What I mean by that is a person can fall into a pattern of self-destructive leadership because they allow the bad experiences to define them. Feelings of, ‘they’re out to get me,’ or ‘people can’t be trusted,’ start to overtake the leader’s thought life. This leads to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem that become self-fulfilling prophecies of failure. People begin to pick up on the fact that this leader lacks confidence and doesn’t trust them. Before you know it, the people have lost faith in the leader and they stop following.
As a leader, I’ve experienced the hurt and pain of people with bad intentions – the ones who seem to be operating on the dark side. But I’ve learned, like many others, how to resist the dark side and stay ‘in the light.’ The good news is that you can too. Are you ready to learn how? Ok. Take your 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, by John C. Maxwell, from the shelf and open up to Law 10. This is the Law of Connection and it says, “Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.”
In case you’re wondering how this law pertains to resisting the dark side, I’ll tell you. When you connect with those you are leading, they are far less likely to try to undermine your leadership. Here are eight guidelines that John gives for connecting with people that I have sought to live by in my leading of others:
1. Connect with yourself. This is about having confidence in and believing in yourself. If you don’t believe in you, who else will?
2. Communicate with openness and sincerity. Why? Because people can tell when you’re faking it.
3. Know your audience. Taking the time to know them will show that you care.
4. Live your message. This brings credibility to your leadership.
5. Go where they are. John writes, ‘”I adapt to others; I don’t expect them to adapt to me.”
6. Focus on them, not yourself. It’s not about you!
7. Believe in them. It’s amazing how many people really just need to know that someone believes they can do it or believes the best about them. Follow just this one guideline and you will see a difference in your ability to influence.
8. Offer direction and hope. One of my favorite quotes that John shares often is from Napoleon Bonaparte who said, “Leaders are dealers in hope.” I like being a hope dealer. You will too.
If you’ve succumbed to the dark side and feel as though your leadership is doomed, put these guidelines into practice as soon as possible. I’m confident that the light will overcome the darkness and you won’t find yourself locked out. Instead, your credibility will increase, you will endear yourself to the people and you’ll then find that the people will do almost anything you ask them to do. In addition, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’ve done the right thing.
About the Author
David Jochum is a Founding Partner of The John Maxwell Team.
He has been a leader in church and non-profit organizations for over 25 years and enjoys coaching and training other leaders to increase their leadership capacity and reach their fullest potential.
Contact David at: www.johnmaxwellgroup.com/davejochum