The Snowflake Principle
Everything that comes to us in life comes through some type of relationship…Everything!
If you think about it, your whole life is based on relationships. Your job, family and your friends are all relationships. If you are a person of faith, your faith in God is a relationship.
Do you aspire to accomplish something great? I’m confident as you think about that goal or dream you are also thinking of the people you need to connect with in order to make that a reality. That’s why I say, everything we obtain in life is dependent on a relationship.
It is not enough, to simply have relationships, because the quality of what we receive is a direct reflection of the quality of the relationship. Promotions, raises and business growth are indicators that something is going well with that relationship. Likewise, there are signs when a relationship is failing: losing a job, dropping out of school, or getting a divorce, they reveal that something, somewhere, some part of that relationship, is in trouble.
So there are good relationships and bad relationships. This means that unless we are skilled at building great relationships, we cut off the conduit that brings blessings into our lives. Moreover, the opposite is true, that if we are unskilled at building great relationships, then we open up our lives to toxic relationships.
When I realized this powerful dynamic, that I can control the quality of my life, simply by managing the quality of my relationships, then I had to answer a simple, but profound question: Why am I not spending more time developing positive relationships? I decided to learn. I determined to become a student of relationship techniques. That’s when I decided to join The John Maxwell Team. Through my JMT training I learned the importance of words in building great relationships. I’d like to share a story that illustrates this principle.
Growing up in the Midwest, one of my favorite things was snow. I especially loved it when it snowed at night. I would put on my coat, boots and gloves and go out in the snow. On such nights, most NORMAL people were inside, huddled around the fireplace; so outside it was so quiet you could almost hear the snowflakes as they hit the ground. In that tranquil setting, I would look up to the sky and watch the snowflakes fall toward me, getting larger as they got closer. It would tickle as the snowflakes landed on my face and eyelashes. Then as the heat of my face melted the snowflakes, the water would run down my cheeks. It was exhilarating!
On just such a night, as I was enjoying the moment, my exhilaration was replaced with shock. My cheeks, an instant ago in bliss, were now burning with pain. What happened?
Undetected, my brother had slipped outside with me. While I was enjoying my moment of solace, he picked up a handful of snow, packed it into a perfect snowball, and threw it directly in my face. Ouch!
Words are like snowflakes. If they land softly, they lift your spirit and heal your soul. However, if someone grabs a bunch of words, compresses them into a few tightly focused sentences and throws them at you, it’s like getting hit in the face with a snowball. It hurts!
The same substance that heals and encourages, also cuts deeply into the soul. What makes the difference? Like snowflakes, it has a lot to do with your delivery. Your words may be correct, but if your delivery is wrong, then your whole message will be wrong as well.
In your relationships use words that lift others. Constantly check your motives. Are you adding value to others, or are you trying to impress others with your words? These simply questions, when used regularly, can open up the conduit of blessing in your relationships.
About the Author:
Randy Stroman is a sought-after speaker, trainer, and coach with The John Maxwell Team and Founder of Convergence Leadership and Relationship Center, located in Dallas, TX. Randy represents more than three decades of hands-on senior-level management experience. He has been instrumental in increasing revenue by helping companies secure long-term agreements valued at more than $100M, while elevating staff morale and productivity. Today, Randy is using his experience to help leaders grow their influence.
Contact Randy at : http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/randystroman