The Leading Edge: Failure, Embrace It
Thomas Edison stated, “I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work!” Someone once said, “Failure is nothing more than showing you that you have room for improvement.” Have you ever feared failure? It can be so debilitating!
How many people do we see in our lives that experience failure and then just give up? They can never see anything good happening in their lives and every time you talk to them, it is nothing but negative talk. There are two times in life that really stand out to me where I felt that I failed and found myself giving up.
The first time that really stands out in my mind is when my best friend from 6th grade was brutally murdered. To say I gave up is an understatement. I felt like I had failed her. I couldn’t protect her as I always had in the past and I couldn’t help her in her last moments.
That attitude did not get me anywhere. Instead, I ended up in a downward spiral that came close to a nervous breakdown. That was definitely one of the darkest times in my life. However, once I began to realize how much damage I was doing to myself, I decided I needed to look at how I was viewing this tragedy. This is not how my friend would have wanted me to live. She certainly wouldn’t have viewed me as a failure. I was sabotaging my own life and dwelling on my failure. The bitterness was taking control of me and that needed to STOP immediately!
The second time I felt like I failed greatly was fairly recent. In December of 2017, my position within corporate America was eliminated. Now, unlike the death of my friend, this wasn’t entirely unexpected, but I did not expect it to happen when it did. Two years prior, a large global corporation had bought out the small family company that I worked for. The corporate office was now handling my HR position and tasks, so I knew once integration was complete, I would no longer be needed. At first, I was angry and even a little bitter. I didn’t understand why after I had done so much in the nine years that I worked there, I was not seen as someone they could utilize in another position. Even more than feeling angry and bitter, I felt like a failure! You see, I had not been without a job since I graduated high school. All I knew was working and working a 9 to 5!
However, I didn’t remain angry for long and one day the song “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns became my theme song. The song talks about how we feel that everyone wants us to be strong when in reality, God is showing us we just need to let him be in control. I realized that I wasn’t a failure after all. I was just being removed from my comfort zone so I could do what I am passionate about and purposed for.
Now there is a drastic difference in the two stories and yet they are both a story of failure. I always say the only failure one has is when they don’t try. I do believe that, but that doesn’t mean we don’t all have moments where those failures take hold of us. In my favorite John Maxwell book, “Failing Forward”, Chapter 3 asks, “If You Fail, Are You A Failure?” This question stopped me in my tracks. If I go back to what I always say about failure, the answer is an unequivocal NO! I tried and therefore I am not a failure. John Maxwell says, “we are not the failure, we just failed at doing something.” There’s a big difference in the two. You see, at first, I failed at dealing with tragedy. I failed to see that my negative attitude, the destruction I caused to myself, wasn’t going to bring back my friend. It was holding me back and the only person it was hurting was me. However, that did not make me, the person, a failure. In the second story, I failed at the action. When my position was eliminated, I may have felt like a failure, but I was anything but a failure. The time that I spent wasn’t a waste; it was nine years learning so much and growing myself that that position elimination was exactly the push I needed to start living into my purpose.
Don’t ever think you are a failure. Failure is necessary in order for us to grow. If we are not failing, we are not growing. Embrace your failures and realize they are all part of your story.
Bio:
Michelle Oostenbrug is an Executive Director and certified coach, trainer and speaker with the John Maxwell Team. She founded Rightway Results, LLC. Michelle brings more than 20 years of personal experience in small business and corporate environments, human resources and personal development, as well as a wealth of practical knowledge to her coaching and training work.
She is extremely passionate about helping small businesses create a systematic approach to improving organizational effectiveness by aligning people, processes, and strategy. Her experience with leadership transitioning and organizational acquisitions is unsurpassed in maintaining employee engagement during these difficult times. She will guide you to defining success on your own terms, lead with vision and strategy, and build an organizational culture that is unsurpassed.
Michelle recognizes that there is no “one size fits all” solution for individuals and organizations. She will partner with you as a trusted advisor and will help you develop a strategy to improve your organizational effectiveness and in the process, will increase employee engagement and alignment that will help grow the bottom line.
“Everyone has the ability to be a leader, they just need to believe in themselves”.
Michelle lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with her husband and their two children.