The Leading Edge: Forging Connections
What I’ve learned about forging solid, long-lasting relationships with new friends in a foreign country is that it requires dedicated time, energy, determination, understanding and courage.
Of the 5 characteristics I’ve shared, the most challenging one is understanding. How do you plant yourself on foreign soil, in a fresh environment and allow one to take root and grow new, long-lasting, meaningful relationships?
Today, technology allows us to connect easily with friends around the globe, in your country, community, work and home! Imagine people in the same room, communicating via messenger, rather than, face-to-face and heart to heart. I’m sure it is something you have experienced!
What happens to our ability to connect face-to-face when technology has us glued to our phones like umbilical cords?
If John Maxwell were to pick a first rule of communication – the practice he would choose that opens the door to connection with others would be — “to look for common ground!” Initially I wondered how this would be accomplished when everything, including the language, was foreign to me… I was unable to see any common ground! And then I read:
“It’s difficult to find ‘common ground’ with others when the only person you’re focused on is yourself! — John C. Maxwell
Those words penetrated my heart like a knife!
Had I been so self-centered and focused?
How could I begin to meet people one-on-one with a laser-focused intention to truly meet them, know them, ask curious questions, listen intently and connect on common ground? Here’s what I decided to do.
Many of you are familiar with LINKEDIN. In the past, when I would receive an invitation to connect, I would simply respond with a kind thank you message. Now, I intentionally scan their profile and respond with an invitation for coffee and a conversation – IN PERSON – YES, IN PERSON!
I was pleasantly surprised at all of the positive responses I received.
One of my first invitations allowed me the pleasure to meet a young gentleman named Charlie, who worked for the past 10 years at a well-known insurance company, on our beautiful island of Curaçao.
(Note: Despite Charlie’s challenge with English and my challenge with Dutch, we still decided to meet. We ordered an iced tea and a “croquette,” at a café called “Chit Chat Café,” also a well-known bookstore on the island.)
Although he was impressed with my LinkedIn profile, I was more impressed with his learning model. I shared that I would be offering a Mastermind Group Study soon on: “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.” I mentioned it would require reading two chapters a week and “huiswerk” (homework/exercises).
He said: “When I get home from work, I have other important priorities in my life, my wife and my children. When I think about it, I never did much homework in school either.”
I wondered… “How was he succeeding?” This led me to my next question…
“What is your secret to success?” He said, “I listen intently and intentionally to what the teacher has to say. And when the teacher has done their job well, I am equipped to pass my tests.”
Wauw! This struck a nerve! How many people truly listen to understand at this level and intensity? This strategy was working super well in his life and was also a wake-up call to me to ensure that as a John Maxwell Team member, I conveyed John’s knowledge and wisdom — clearly and concisely!
Throughout our conversation we had communicated in three languages: Dutch, Papiamentu and English. At one point, Charlie said: “Sorry, Barbara, would you please only speak English to me as I really want to learn the language.” I responded: “Yes, of course!”
At the end of our hour, we realized, we had “forged a connection,” and would certainly meet again to expand our knowledge and awareness. What a great experience this was for the both of us!
I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived home and received a message from Charlie on LinkedIn:
“Hi Barbara, Did you enjoy our meeting? What think you of me? For me it was a pleasure. It was very nice to meet you. If you want, you can add my number to your whatsapp so we can speak more often. This is without using google translate! Hahahah”
Creating memorable moments, requires getting out of your comfort zone and into your growth zone.
Life improves when our relationships improve!
Learning how to meet new people, one-on-one, face-to-face, in person, seeking to understand, before being understood, allows us an opportunity to form long-lasting friendships/relationships and to hold respectful stewardship of them!!!
I am grateful to John C. Maxwell for challenging me to “add value to others because we are people of value that value people!”
Bio
Barbara Leigh is an Executive Coach and the principal owner of “Influential Energy.” She is a Founding Partner and Executive Director of The John Maxwell Team.
Since an early age, she has made a conscious effort to make an impact on, and learn from, as many people as she can. She values education, as well as celebrates the effectiveness of collaborations. “I always strive to learn more about the diverse world around me!”
She’s long admired and embraced the leadership principles of Bruce Lee, Og Mandino, Steven Covey and John C. Maxwell. Her greatest dream today is to: “Propel aspiring leaders to achieve their dreams through passionate curiosity and influential energy.” There are no boundaries, only infinite challenges and potential waiting to be unleashed, new belief systems to be created and greater horizons to be conquered!
Leadership has made an extraordinary difference in her life and she is seeking to make a difference in yours! Let’s set an intention to birth your new future TODAY!