Are You Being Complacent or Intentional?

I was sitting at my desk in my classroom – the same classroom I had had for nine years. I knew I had been successful as a teacher, and gained satisfaction from teaching students how to master mathematics, but no longer did I have the passion to continue on this path. I wasn’t completely sure what I would do if I didn’t teach.

As I looked around at the bulletin boards, the desks, the stack of papers to be graded, my eye caught the chalk dusk lit up by the afternoon sun like pixie dust floating in the room. Now that I was in a successful marriage relationship, I had a desire to help others achieve what my husband and I had gained.

I certainly cared about the young people I was teaching; but what if I was to reach their parents? What if I focused more on the relationships they had at home then whether or not they learned algebra – would that make an eternal difference?

Many days I would have students come into my class with a glazed-over look like they had more important things on their mind than the Pythagorean theorem. They were sad, often depressed, because mom and dad had been fighting the night before, or their parents were already separated and divorce was looming over them like a dark cloud. What if my focus was on restoring relationships, and these students could come to school knowing they had a more secure environment to go home to? This was my Aha! Moment.

Merriam-Webster has a definition for “Aha Moment”: a moment of sudden realization, inspiration, insight, recognition, or comprehension. I’ve been there – that moment when I realized what I was called to do. I was called to help others have successful marriages. That could impact these young people more than whether or not they learned algebra. At first, it seemed impossible for me to consider going back to school when I was nearly fifty. Sometimes it seems easier to stay in your complacency than to take a risk and step into the unknown. However, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got. If you want something different, you have to step out of your comfort zone.

Michael Hyatt said: “You don’t have to stay stuck in the state you are in. But first, you must own your specific situation and take responsibility for the choices that led to it. Only then can you begin to create a different future.” I had chosen to teach at a time when my children were young. I could be available to them; we had similar schedules. Now that my children were grown, I had the freedom to choose another path – one that fueled my passion for healthy marriages, so children can grow up in homes with two parents who truly love each other, and will model for their kids what a great relationship looks like.

As I write this blog, my husband and I are in Branson Missouri at yet another training for marriage coaches and counselors. Learning is a lifelong process, and will only serve to help us be more effective leaders in our field. We have created a different future not only for ourselves, but for the many couples who cross our path.

John Maxwell said, “Success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” Once you know what you have been called to do, get all the knowledge you can, and then sow those seeds.

About the Author

Cindy Jacob Southworth is a marriage and relationship coach, certified through the American Assn of Christian Counselors and a member of the International Christian Coaching Assn.

Cindy is a John Maxwell certified speaker, trainer, and coach. She and her husband David are the owners of Breakwater Coaching